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Kevin, I would look at the Smith and Wesson M &P Shield for defense duty. It is reliable and accurate and easy to get a feel for shooting wise : - https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/84068/smith+%26+wesson+180051+m%26p+shield+%2ama+approved%2a+9mm+31%22+8%2b1

Go to a range that rents pistols for shooting. Shoot different pistols in different calibers. Pick a few you like and shoot them again. Then make an informed decision.