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The recoil of the 38 isn't bad at all. Stay safe and happy plinking!!
John, the .38 Special standard and +P loads are substantially lower recoil compared to .357 Magnum loads. A good standard pressure JHP .38 load will get the job done : https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/56781/hornady++critical+defense+38spl+110gr+flex+tip++25rd+box
Ruger revolvers are a fantastic choice, I own several. 38 special will definitely do the job in a self defense situation, Id recommend a quality defense ammo though. 357 Magnum doesnt kick to bad but if its too much you can always safely shoot 38 special threw any 357 Magnum revolver. I think this would be a great defense revolver and because its heavier the weight will absorb alot of the recoil. Hope this helps and good luck with your choice.
The guys have already given great answers. I'm just here to say Welcome to 2A rights!!