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Kevin, the new S&W Equalizer (https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/411560764/smith+%26+wesson+equalizer+optic+ready_ - or the Springfield Armory Hellcat (https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/134467/springfield+armory+hellcat+micro-compact+9mm+11+1+black+melonite) would fit the bill nicely. Cheers and stay safe!
There are many compact models which have thumb safeties if that's your thing. Other S&W models do have a thumb safety if you'd like to stick with the S&W brand.
Kevin, I personally carry a sig p365 xl and love it. They make models with or without a safety and it's ambidextrous. It has a 3.7 inch barrel but it feels smaller. Im a bigger boy with big hands so it's just big enough to get a good grip but small enough to conceal comfortably. If interested here's a link to one with a ambidextrous safety................ https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/120506/sig+sauer+p365+xl+pistol+9mm+12r+manual+safety.............. If you prefer something a little smaller the original version the sig p365 is a good bit smaller, the xl is just a bigger version. It also comes with a ambidextrous safety and both come standard with good night sights. Here's a link to the original sig p365 if interested.............. https://www.budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/108733/sig+sauer+p365+micro-compact+9mm+double+action+3.1+10+1+manual+safety+black+polymer.............. Hope this helps and good luck with your choice.