Hi David, the number of suggestions will probably be massive. A concealed carry for a 5 foot X person will probably not work for a 6 foot X person. I whole heartedly suggest going to a local gun shop and actually trying a few models first hand. That way you will know actual weight and feel. You will instinctively know when you come across the right pistol. Then you can order from Buds. ;)

i like the Springfield Xde you get the best of both world with all the safty

If you just want to spend more, look at the Springfield XD-E

What kind of action do you prefer, sa, da or sa/da?

Honestly, the best most reliable I have is a $190 Taurus 709 slim. Its so tiny and is deadly accurate. I'll go to my grave swearing it was my best micro 9mm. I own Glocks and Rugers, but none outperformed the 709 I have.