Hello John, I would check out the Smith & Wesson EZ models, they are specifically designed for easy loading, easy racking, and soft recoil... here's an example that Buds has in 9mm
budsgunshop.com/product_info.php/products_id/714030750/smith+%26+wesson+shield+2.0+ez+9mm+8rd+thumb+safety+slv+reb

Hi John. I suggest a .22 WMR revolver like the smith and Wesson 351. But for a larger round, the Bersa Thunder 380, or Glock 42 380. In 9mm I would suggest the Taurus TH9C, this is a larger gun but a softer recoil than other 9mm’s. All are great guns. All are reliable and good for EDC, however the Bersa is the last choice for carry in my opinion. If you really want power and light recoil, check out a 327 revolver. But the ammo is more expensive and harder to find. Good luck hope this helps